Afraid to Trust

Afraid to Trust

I wrote a post last week about the intimacy God desires with each of us.  It’s called God as Abba - Papa God.  

I heard from a long-time friend of mine.  She said: “This one made me cry. Want that intimacy so badly. Somehow afraid to let myself feel it.  Never feel worthy enough. Thanks for this.”

When I was teaching Sunday School, before my heart problems, I had a ninety-year old man say basically the same thing.  He put it in the form of a question.  “How can you really know God forgives, and that He loves me with all that love you keep talking about?”

I’m not smart enough to trick anyone into believing anything about the Gospel of Christ.  It is such a ‘faith’ thing, and sooner or later, we have to accept certain aspects of Christianity on sheer faith.  I don’t have a document that certifies that I am forgiven, or that God wants me to have a close relationship with him.  I’ve not had a dream, or had a divine voice speak audibly to me. 

I do have my faith, and I have the Bible as a reference point that I accept as coming from God through human interpreters.  And I choose to believe what is written.

~I believe God wants to be trusted.

~I believe God is offering this amazing gift of His ferocious love, this hurricane-force outpouring of His love and grace, and I am the object of this outpouring.  And so are you.

I’ve had my moments of doubt.  I’ve had my moments of feelings of unworthiness.  I’ve had my moments when my guilt overwhelmed any sense of redemption that God was offering to me. 

And yet, His love still raged on.  His love still reached me.  His redemption seeped into my heart and I accepted, finally, that I am loved as I am, not as I should be. 

“There is no one perfect … no not one.” 

(Based on Romans 3:23)

Romans 3:10 says basically the same thing.  “There is no one who is righteous; not even one.”

God knows us.  He created us.  He knows we are like sheep who wander away constantly without the guiding eye of the shepherd.  And when we wander, He comes seeking us, and finds us, and if we’re willing to come back, He brings us back home.

Seems to me God is doing all the work.  He loves us, He redeems us.  We get a wandering eye, we look at something brighter, something shiny, more desirable, and we wander.  And He misses us, He seeks us out, and He finds us and invites us back home.

Sometimes, we get it in our heads that we’ve gone too far, we’ve done such bad things that God couldn’t possible love us.  No … never.

We say things like …

“But I stink” (either literally or figuratively)

“But I’m a constant disappointment”

“I’m not worthy”

“I’ve lost my credibility”

               and a thousand other excuses. 

And yet, His love continues.  He woos, He calls, He invites, He offers love, pardon and redemption.

Redemption!  What a great word –

   Renovation

   Reclamation

   Refurbishment

   Restoration

That’s what God offers.  He doesn’t say …

“Go make three trips to church on Friday, crawling on your hands and knees.”

“Pay a $1000 fine.”

“Read your Bible all night, for 12 hours straight.”

He simply says “Come.  Trust.  Accept.”

Now who could be afraid of that?

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